Worship the Young and Venerate the Old?

This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover.

           -Annonymous

American culture idolizes youth. Youth represents strength, both physical and mental, beauty and plasticity. The United States is a young country after all, not just because of its demographics but also historically and architecturally.

An old building in Boston can be no more than 300 years old, compared to Istanbul's Hagia Sophia, China's Qin Dynasty tombs or India's Virupaksha Temple; architecturally we are babies. No ancient structures dominate our landscapes.  Los Angeles  may have its share of crumbling buildings not because any building has weathered more than 200 August heat waves, but because cheap materials with no staying power were used in construction.

So, part of why we venerate youth may be a form of collective self-esteem.  As a culture, as a nation we are young, and so we love youth. To be young and beautiful means higher paying jobs and social opportunities. To be young and bright means hard work and a little luck may land you on NASA's newest mission to Mars or in the Oval Office, regardless of where your parents came from.  Youth are not held back by heavy familial traditions or responsibilities.Old age is perceived as defeat.  People fight it.  Americans want to stay young and any benefits middle-age or beyond may bring are lost to us.

In France, although the beauty of youth is celebrated, age is respected.  The old are seen as not only wise, but deserving of attentions small and large. Ecuadorians honor their elders by giving people of "the third age" steep, sometimes more than 50% discounts, on airplane and theater tickets and there is no set retirement age.  Healthy octogenarians work alongside younger people and are consulted and prized as workers for their experience. In fact, in the small Andean city of Vilcabamba, older people tend to exaggerate their ages, they want to seem older than their true chronological age. The young are seen as inexperienced and look for guidance from the older members of society.

The benefits of providing myriad opportunities for the young in the United States are clear.  Americans believe in possibilities and that is most clear in the iconoclasm surrounding youth. But much is lost with the vilification of old age and with classic American images of  the sunset years as disease-ridden and characterized by mental decline and irrelevance. These perceptions bode well for no one, not even the very young.  What is there to look forward to if your life opportunities and relevance peak within the first three decades of life?  This is simply culturally unhealthy and even pathologically ignorant. 

The American Way: Plan Before the Plan

...I had a sudden realization:  I was in danger of wasting my life..."What do I want from life, anyway?" I asked myself...

                               -Gretchen Rubin (2009), American Author

When you want a killer backhand in tennis, you watch a good instructional video, hire a coach or take tips from your tennis-playing best friend.  When you want to join the community symphony with your cello, you dust off the old sheet music you haven't looked at since college and practice everyday for two months.  And, if you decide to tackle one 500 page history book each week next month, well, start practicing your reading.

New Year's resolutions are on the horizon just waiting, poised, ready to defeat the poor mortals who create them.  The thing is most of us make these well-intentioned resolutions with no concrete practice plan.  There must be a plan, before the plan.  So, if you're going to tackle the New York Times crossword puzzles each week in January, start practicing now.  Get ready to make the real resolution stick.

If you have a whole list of resolutions, then you need to be even more organized. Greatchen Rubin's new book The Happiness Project is a fun read about the year she decided to be happier and how she made it work. If you visit her blog The Happiness Project you can even find tools to follow in her organized footsteps to move towards the good life.

The whole idea of resolutions and self-improvement is distinctly American and began with Benjamin Franklin, whom some historians have called "The First American".  He constantly sought to improve himself, his community and the world.  He details his self-improvement project in his Autobiography.
What a great person to represent Americans.

The One Human Freedom

I get up every morning determined both to change the world and to have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning the day difficult.
-E.B. White, American author

The world is divided into people who believe they can change the world and people who don't. The meanings of "world" and "change" are relative. A 1-year-old smiles sweetly at her daddy pointing at the gummy bear jar on top of the fridge trying to effect change with charm. A teacher sees great potential in a wayward student and tells the parents hoping to make a difference with authority. A chemist works in the lab four hours past quitting time knowing her work could be the difference in eradicating swine flu.
The power to change the world is wrought with peril. Mistakes will be made, people will disappoint or be disappointed and too many days may end with exhaustion and defeat. But such is life. The power to change life is the stuff of hope. Without hope, there is depression.
In 1964, psychologist Martin Seligman coined the term "learned helplessness" to describe a loss of will he observed in lab dogs. The dogs were inadvertently taught that their actions had no correlations to outcomes. These dogs shrank physically and mentally. They became sluggish and the eagerness dogs are known for left. But 1/3 of the dogs kept trying to effect change; they did not learn this helplessness. These are the dogs Seligman continued to study.
Eventually Seligman studied similar characteristics in humans and found that some people refuse to become helpless in even the most adverse life circumstances. These positive people believe negative circumstances are temporary and that they have some control, even if the only control they really have is that of thoughts.
Viktor Frankl, Nazi concentration camp survivor and author of Man's Search for Meaning says

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

What Frankl labels "last of the human freedoms" is also the first and possibly the only. In the end, we are either directors or prisoners of our thoughts and what we choose to think, makes all the difference in the world.

How Much Space Do You Need?

It is a disaster to have a man fall in love with me. They aren't content to take what I can give, they want everything from me.
- Katherine Anne Porter (1960), American Journalist

Feeling lonely even when involved in a close, romantic relationship, is not all that uncommon. This odd sort of loneliness stems from unmet expectations. In order to relieve "in-relationship" loneliness one of two things needs to occur. Either the expectations of the lonely person need to be adjusted or even replaced by ones that work for the relationship or an emotional break from the other person must be made. The expectation that is most relevant to happiness in romantic relationships is related to freedom versus connectedness.

A friend, Paloma, recently moved to Manhattan to dance, write and try to make ends meet on student loans and side jobs. She rented a one-room "hole-in-the wall", registered for classes at NYU and chatted with anyone willing. Two weeks into her new life the loneliness set in and flooded any spare moment. Although she spoke to friends and family in Ohio by telephone and e-mail, she felt utterly socially disconnected in her new life. One day, her sister mentioned that Paloma's old boyfriend, George, had also moved to New York recently. "Why don't you look him up?" she said. Paloma did not really want to date George again, but she did need a friend.

George, moved to New York City, rented a flat, and started exploring his new neighborhood, Chinatown. The intoxicating smells of fresh meat and fried delicacies, mandarin folk opera music mingled with curt yelling and the shear mass of humanity kept this Midwesterner enthralled. On his walks to and from his new job he had time to think and marvel. He felt very happy.

Two weeks into his new life, he received a call from Paloma. She was in town, working as a waitress by day and taking evening classes to complete her MFA. "Let's get together!" she said. They met for lunch. They kept in touch and eventually resumed dating. Soon free evenings and weekends were spent in each others company. Paloma was happy. Everything in her life seemed in place now that she had George to share her life. But George began to feel an unease growing inside. Paloma needed more of George. More time. More affection, love and assurance. More impromptu talks, more hugs. George needed time alone. So their conflicts began. Neither of them were quite in love and so, the relationship ended. George went back to marveling at the wonders around him, alone. Paloma began looking for her soul mate.

University of Chicago professor, John T. Cacioppo, author of Loneliness, believes it's a subjective sense of loneliness--not lack of objective social support--that uniquely predicts whether a person's psychological state negatively affects her physiological health. People who feel they are lonely exhibit depressive symptoms, chronic health conditions , and elevated blood pressure.

Each person has a unique need for connectedness and each person's expectations fall in line with that level of need. The needed level of need can not be wrong. Each is just different and this difference can cause relationships with great potential to sour. To remain happy in a relationship with a person whose connectedness needs differ from yours, your expectations must be adjusted to better fit that relationship. Negotiations must begin and a place where each person feels loved and connected needs to be found. That is why Love Is Work.

Love has to be work, because each person's need for connection is unique. Soul mates exist, but someone exactly like you, does not and never, ever will.

Keep Courage

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-Albert Einstein

The current economic crisis will influence today's children to become risk averse. This fear of making mistakes and trying the new may seep into the mindset of an entire generation. Such a fearful mindset shared by millions of Americans will reduce the rate and scope of creativity and innovation of the entire country.
So, how to avert this tragic effect? Is there a way to shield our children, to keep children innocent, from the negative effects of financial mistakes gone haywire? Yes, there is. Each adult being watched by a child must herself act with courage, every day, in the big and the small stuff of life.
And how does one do this? By surrounding oneself with positive, courageous people and deciding to be a big person, worthy of emulation.

• Make mistakes.
• Keep courage.
• Try new things.

Even if this isn't who you really are, fake it, till you make it. Because now, more than ever, the courage exhibited by individual adults will make a positive difference in the future lives of today's children.

Take Care of Your Hippocampus

The Hippocampus is the brain structure responsible for our ability to store short memories and is key in learning. This structure shrinks as we age. The more one uses its functions by constantly being exposed to novelty and new learning the less age-related atrophy will occur. But people of all ages can have premature hippocampal damage. Robert Sapolsky, Stanford University neurobiologist, is a researcher with a message for us all. "Long term stress is bad for the brain," Sapolsky says, because it produces, possibly permanent, hypocampal atrophy. The stress Sapolsky refers to is severe enough to create the life-wilting twins, "learned helplessness" and depression. The longer a person is depressed the faster her hippo campus shrinks, inhibiting future short term memory capabilities and learning. "Keep your life in perspective!" Sapolsky says. Unfortunately the people most likely to need his advice are the least likely to be able to process it. Depression is a shirking of perspective, a possibly destructive honing in on the self. Depression kicks in when sadness over life's bad turns does not resolve. Everyone experiences moments of great sadness, the people that best protect their hippo campus from long-term damage are those who have a growth mindset to begin with. People with a growth mindset expect to grow somehow through their deepest valleys of despair. They know they will come out a different person, a wiser person. Psychologist Carol Dweck believes "People can choose which world they want to inhabit." And that choice makes all the difference.

Robert Sapolsky on You Tube

Interview with Carol Dweck

"Keep Moving Forward"

How well children learn to deal with reality, and huge numbers learn to do it poorly, has a lot to do with whether they are happy or miserable for the rest of their lives.
- William Glasser (1998), Physician

My favorite animated Disney movie is Meet the Robinsons. It is a science wiz's fairy tale. The orphan Lewis Robinson decides to use his passion for inventing to locate his biological mother so they can be a family "again". The crux of the movie is when he realizes he already has a family and begins to use his brains to improve the world through technology. He sheds his obsession with the past and adopts a new motto "Keep Moving Forward." Lewis' childhood roommate, Grube, adopts a more negative view of life. The crux in Grube's life is when he decides to blame someone else (Lewis) for all his problems. His mindset becomes fixed, he chooses unhappiness and focuses his life on revenge. In the end, there is no end of possibilities for Lewis (renamed Cornelius by the end of the movie). He keeps inventing...

I used to enjoy other Disney animated movies more before I had a daughter who adores the Disney princesses. The Disney princesses (except may be Mulan) do not have a growth mindset. In the end of each princess movie, there really is an end. Each princess got what she wanted and that is that. No possible future stories.

The question is, how do I wean my four-year old off the princess ideal? The music, colors and beautiful characters put out by Disney leave a mark on an eager learner's brain. But may be I shouldn't worry at all, because when my little girl dresses the princess' part, she exudes power. And a sense of power is a mighty emotion to try on at her age. It is a feeling she'll want again in the future. It is then up to me to guide her to true power; power over one's mindset and life direction. So, I'll let her wear gaudy yellow dresses and aluminum high-heeled slippers, while I hold her and chat with her and show her how to harness and direct her power for growth. Because real-life and everyday conversations are the most enduring tools of all.

Heavy Days

Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.

-Seneca

Albert Einstein, Time magazine's Most Influential Person of the Century, changed the way we perceive time. It's relative; just like everything else in life. Each day is really a new start only if one sees it that way.

Our brand new president, Barack Obama must surely feel each day weighs heavily. Each moment in his life is large. And even though a country's plans must be relatively long term, the day is what matters in the end. Each day eventually ends and is stacked up in the pile of past history, a path leading somewhere.

Each day viewed as a separate life leaves room for a change of direction, as needed, as the relativity of human existence requires. This may be the most positive way to view one's time on earth.

Examine Your Life, but Not Too Much

It is easy to slip into self-absorption and it is equally fatal.
-Eleanor Roosevelt (1960)

Unrelenting inner turmoil about one's needs and/or negative feelings often means one is stuck in a depressive mental pattern. The way to get mentally "unstuck" is to force an outward focus. Empathizing with and meeting the needs of someone else may be the ticket to thwart negative self-absorption. Engaging in an activity that demands extreme focus and a merging of action with awareness of that action, also helps. They key, really, is to become absorbed with the outer world.
But to be able to achieve this focus in a way that is meaningful in the long-run, one must take the time to quietly examine one's life. For, as Plato wrote

The unexamined life is not worth living.

A sort of balance between outward focus and inner examination towards intent is fodder for a meaning-filled life.
The popular life coach, Cheryl Richarson trumpets what she calls Extreme Self-Care. The name she has given her philosophy of thoughtful living is misleading and reactionary. She calls on people whom have spent entire decades catering to the needs of others, in family and even work life, to begin caring for themselves first so as to live a meaningful life. Richarson's repackaging of the age-old call towards life-examination invites a resolution based on victim hood and seems a bit whiny to me. Life is about choices and the first step towards productive self-reflection is a curt decision to make choices for oneself and evaluate those as one lives them.
My favorite books on the topic of a choice-based life, and notably not in any way espousing "extreme self-care", are both autobiographies intended as guides towards an examined life. They are the two following:

• You Learn By Living by Eleanor Roosevelt


• The Autobiography Of Benjamin Franklin by B. Franklin

I have read them and will read them again, and hope to pass what they teach on to my children.

Tell Me a Story

Everything in life is a story. An Historian gathers written accounts (stories) and pieces them together contextually. A Biologist observes organisms and writes the account (the story) of what she saw for others to read and study. A cosmologist thinks about the origins of the Universe contextually and weighing available evidence eventually forms a theory (a story) of its beginnings. An IRS agent sifts through piles of receipts and puts together an account (story) of how the government has been cheated by the person whose receipts he’s analyzed. Every human thought and activity is bound to story. It is how we conceptualize and understand life.
When we don’t understand, it is because what we face is not in context; we don’t know the story. Understanding requires a story to serve as backdrop. Jakob Einstein introduced his young nephew Albert to algebra using a story. He described algebra as

a merry science in which we go hunting for a little animal whose name we don’t know. So we call it X. When we bag the game we give it the right name. (Denis Brian, 1998).

I have always admired people who speak to children this way. My good friend Tiffany answered her little boy’s questions, when he was still quite new to the world, with storied explanations on the fly. She’d level with him, and eye to eye, answer with part truths, part theories and a whiff of fairy-tale. I don’t remember exactly what she told him, but time stood still for but a moment and I wanted to believe what she said and run with the possibilities.
This is why we love a good novel. The best stories are part truth, part possibilities. In the end we want to stay in the land of the possible. Many of us outgrow this realm, but imagine if each child had an uncle or two to introduce her to the deeps of knowledge with a merry little story?

An Idealistic New Year

The happiness that is genuinely satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.

-Bertrand Russel (1965), philosopher

I do have a list of New Year's resolutions somewhere in my brain, but really, I know the backbone of a life well lived is good philosphy. Basic needs are addressed and pleasures sweeten life, but lacking ideals one only flounders and hope proves elusive. These are the top ten ideals I hope will support my version of 2009:

1. Life is good.


2. Choose to enjoy.


3. My days are what I make them.


4. Be afraid of fear itself.


5. Love grows when given.


6. Seek people with a growth mindset and energy to share.


7. Share the good stuff.


8. Love those around me best.


9. Be satisfied with my past, grateful for my present and excited for my future.


10. Know this is the one life I have; ask "what shall I do with it?"; begin with this moment...

Happiness via Good Government?

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men...
-Thomas Jefferson. Declaration of Independence

The Declaration of Independence, firmly anchored on humanistic ideals, includes the pursuit of happiness as a basic human right to be secured by government. Great thinkers throughout history have discussed happiness ad infinitum, but an empirical perspective to this most human of pursuits is relatively new. The field of Positive Psychology is dedicated to exactly this: the study of the pursuit of happiness. Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihaly, founders of the field, believe the behavioral sciences

can articulate a vision of the good life that is empirically sound while being
understandable and attractive. They can show what actions lead to well-being, to positive individuals, and to thriving communities.

Seligman says, We've learned in 10 years that happy people are more productive at work, learn more in school, get promoted more, are more creative and are liked more.

A major role of recent governments has been to monitor economic conditions and promote economic growth. But considering the ideals of America's founders, one realizes that this focus is mioptic. Ideally, governments are instituted to enable, among other things, the pursuit of happiness. I suggest our new president add a cabinet post for the fomentation of this most human of pursuits.
Currently, the only government on the planet, taking on the responsibility of fomenting the happiness of its citizens is the Asian nation of Bhutan. Bhutan's national pursuit of happiness is spiritually-based. Although spirituality, or meaning-making, is an important component of happiness, it is not the only one. The pursuit of happiness is complex and multi-faceted. I believe it is the key to human growth and meaning. It should be the topic of discussion in government, schools and anywhere else humans have enough food in their bellies and a mind with which to think.

Older Brains in Flow

I have no doubt myself that a man or woman earnestly seeking in grown-up life to be guided to a wide and suggestive knowledge in its largest and most uplifted sphere will make the best of all the pupils in this age of clatter and buzz.
-Winston Churchill (1953)

When speaking of education, one often refers to something gained in youth. A young brain, busy organizing itself, thirsts for content gleaned and processed from experiences. These experiences may be mental or sensual or interpersonal; in any case, they are triggered by input from one's environment. Yet the human brain remains plastic; it retains the ability to reorganize itself, as needed, with new experiences, learning and memorization, throughout the entire lifespan. But lacking new experiences or triggers, brain function does atrophy. As a healing arm under a cast weakens because of lack of use, brain function weakens with decreased use as well. Cognitive abilities remain sharp with appropriate challenge. Psychologists Patricia Reuter-Lorenz and Louise Stanczak believe attention span may actually increase with age as "attentional functions of the corpus callosum may be relatively preserved and assume a more prominent role in the aging brain".
The loss of cognitive function associated with age, may actually be due to lack of educational, or growth opportunities. A stereotypically older person retires into a flurry of novel experiences lasting about a month. Then she settles into a more laid back, restful life pattern. The problem with this more restful life pattern, is that a resting brain is a brain on the path to atrophy. People of every age need to exercise their brains in novel ways every day to remain relevant and lead lives of meaning. Healthy life patterns are not organized around rest, but around vibrant life experiences or "Flow". Positive psychologist Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi identifies the following as accompanying an experience of flow:

1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one's skill set and abilities).


2. Concentrating and focusing, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).


3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.


4. Distorted sense of time, one's subjective experience of time is altered.


5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed).
   Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor too difficult).


6. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.


7. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action.


8. People become absorbed in their activity, and focus of awareness is narrowed down to the activity itself, action awareness merging.[2]

Although not all are needed for flow to be experienced, the older members of our current societies may be the hardest pressed to participate in flow inducing activities. If society would redefine loss of cognitive function as unhealthy in old age, maybe eventually our concept of education would grow to include mental growth for people of all ages.

Human's Search For Meaning

Life and history, when reflected on with any sophistication, deny us the security of fixed meaning.
-Kieran Egan, Professor of Education (2008)

The human qualities that differentiate us most vividly from mice and dogs and chimpanzees are wonderment and a constant search for meaning. This search for meaning is a dynamic process.

What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general, but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment.
-Victor Frankl, Psychiatrist and Holocoust Survivor (1955)

Once we have the right answer to something, whether it be a question of metaphysical proportions or simply the time of day, the search ends and the answer is now potentially historic. Although a final answer may allow us to move to the next task or subject of attention with a sense of accomplishment, moving on permanently initiates crystalization of thought and terminates our growth in that area. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but the more important the question is to us, the less likely it is we will reach a final answer today, or ever. There is much beauty in the search; revel in its energy and embrace the process.

How Was Your Day?

Self-absorption is the enemy of social interaction. We all tend to take ourselves too seriously at times, but if we make it a trend, eventually we repel those around us.
One way people, unconsciously push others away is simply by framing a day's events in a self-absorbed manner. When someone asks on an average day, "How was your day?" consider who is asking and why. The question is usually a conversation starter. The person asking is wanting to connect with you and how you answer will tell her if you are open to connect, or if you really just want to vent and are ignoring her. Below are some answers I've gotten recently that made me think I should have not started the conversation with "How was your day?".

Top Four Lousy Answers:

4.) "How was your day?"
"Oh, (sigh) it's hard..."
This person is out of touch. Nobody, not even the love of your life or your mother, wants to hear what you say next. They are probably tired of your constant complaining, and maybe even feel sorry for you (who wants to be pitied?).


3.) "How was your day?"
"Hard. I ran into this idiot..." This answer reveals a sense of entitlement. Your day did not go as well as you expected, because of others' failures.

2.) "How was your day?"
(pause) "Hmm. Good..."
You want to complain very badly, but you won't, and you want to make sure your listener knows how saintly you can be.

1.) "How was your day?"
"Never Better!"
Really? You may be coming across disingenious.

Answers that lead to better social connections would sound like the following:

"How was your day"
"Not so great, but I'm so glad to see you. I'll tell you about my day later, how was your day?"
"Good. How was yours?"
"Great! I had a great day, I ran into..."

Of course you may want to adjust your answer depending on whether you want to attract, or repel the person who asked.

What's Your Path?

The time to start exercising, stop nagging, and work on photo albums, I decided, is when everything was going smoothly; I didn’t want to wait for a crisis to re-make my life.

Gretchen Rubin, Writer (2008)

Falling into a crisis is like stepping on the gas pedal of one's life. One falls much faster, but ends up in the same place. The time to find a map, pack and read up on desired destinations is often spent feeling stressed, unappreciated or out of control. If one has time to feel negative, one has time to get onto a different path, because when a true crisis hits time is not experienced as fluid. In crisis, time is more like a natural disaster; a fire, flood or tsunami. If one is happy, the path must be right; crisis may knock one down, but the path is still the same.

Foggy Roads

People can choose which world they want to inhabit.

-Carol Dweck, professor of Psychology (2006)

On good days, it's easy to spot the choices available. On bad days, roads get foggy to the point of invisibility. On bad days choices are what one doesn't seem to have. Yet one almost always has at least one choice, that of perspective. One can choose which angle to view life from. That, is what makes all the difference in the world.

I am Special

Although we are made up of the same chemicals, with the same physiological reactions, we are very different from other animals.

-Michael Gazzaniga, Neuroscientist (2008)

That it obvious. I do look a tad different than my dog. I also can do many things he can't. I can think about him and wonder if he thinks about what I think about him. I have a Theory of Mind. Does my dog?

Several scientist/animal relationship stories (non-fiction books) have hit bookstores this year, including Wesley The Owl and Nim Chimpsky: The Chimp Who Would Be Human. These scientists go into detail to describe the beauty and complexity of the animal mind and may even be arguing that animals do have a Theory of Mind.

So what is it that truly makes us human? Is there more to our differences than meets the eye? This is a hot topic among neuroscientists, but it seems to me a futile fight. Yes, we are different than other animals. We are our own species, after all. I am unlike my dog, like I am unlike a daisy, or an eagle, or an ocean. All life matter contains carbon, so we must have much in common physiologically, even with an amoeba. I may be going a little far there, but I just don't see the point in proving humans are special. We are. But if we are special, so is every other living thing.

How Long Are YOU Going To Live?

In the course of my observation...disputing, contradicting and confuting people are generally unfortunate in their affairs. They get victory sometimes, but they never get good will, which would be of more use to them.

Benjamin Franklin (1780)

Want to have a long, happy life? Be agreeable. National Geographic Magazine's feature article on longevity (2006) argued, people who live past 100 years, healthy and happy, have agreeable dispositions and are generally enjoyable to be around. The stereotype of the grumpy old man, may be just that, a stereotype. The oldest among us, are the most pleasant.

I have met exactly two beautiful people who are close to a century old; both truly inspiring. One is my grandmother, who is a young ninety-one. She is pleasant, witty, non-confrontational and still gets manicures weekly. I wonder sometimes, how she became who she is today. How is it that she seems to savor the moment with a twinkle in her eye? She keeps so much in her heart, and remembers more good than bad in her life. Was she born this sanguine? Her mother died when she was six years old. Her strict and austere grandparents raised her. She married young and had eight children, the last of which died in her arms as an infant. Did se decide to be happy no matter what? I guess I better ask her next time I see her. I'll keep you posted...

Find Your Own Happy Pace of Life

Metabolism is the central characteristic of biological life.

Fritjof Capra, Physicist (2008)

What is the difference between a rock and a rose? Metabolism. What is the difference between an obese person and an athlete? Metabolism.

Metabolism is speed. Too little speed, makes a sloth-like existence. Too much speed creates inflammation, and a body's anger response kicks in. Finding one's own happy pace of life is a matter of finding what gives joy and strength, and what leaves a person with enough energy to share and spare.